Kuru Eruna
by Shiro Ryuu
Summary: On Yami no Bakura, and the art of letting go. Rated primarily for language, a.k.a. Bakura and his dirty mouth. Beware, I have come to suspect that I write crappy fics.


**Disclaimer: **Hmm, to 'own' Yami no Bakura, what a concept... (drools) ... (scares lawyers off with drool)

**AN: **I was planning to write humor, so I sat down, opened up a document... and wrote this instead, sweatdrop. Well, I guess it's kind of funny, in its own special sort of way. The style I wound up using is so weird that it should give you a good laugh. Whether you're laughing _with_ me or, well, _not,_ is up to you, nervous grin. The story is probably set sometime in between Duelist Kingdom and Battle City, I guess, by the way... Yes, 'probably' and 'I guess'; I didn't really think about it too much at first... Other than that, enjoy!

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_Why? Why must you hate him? Why must you... kill him...?_

* * *

I'm not that cruel to him, really. _Really. _Some people - the 'cheerleaders' are the ones I have in mind, naturally - probably think I like to beat the shit out of him or something, but nope - he looks like a kicked puppy all by himself, apparently. The fact of the matter is that I could never be _too _terrible to him, because in a sense, he's a part of me. He just pisses me off, well, pretty much _all the time_. I just don't see how someone who I guess would've been my reincarnation if my whole freakin' _destiny _hadn't been screwed up could be so _girly_. No, I take that back, that's rude - to women. He's just plain pathetic, and leave it at that.

So I guess it's a little unusual that, right now, he's glaring at me. Trying to, anyway, you get my drift I'm sure.

We have a kind of routine right now. I mean, did you think I was going to leave him alone, just because there's nothing really interesting going on right now? Unlikely. I've had nothing to do for so long that I lost what little sanity I had left long ago; no _way _am I passing up entertainment now. So anyway, usually by the time I wake up he's already in school - he wakes up way too early, especially from the point of view of someone who was pretty much nocturnal most of his life. What I do then all depends on my mood - maybe I'll stay quiet all day and just watch; maybe I'll harass him (just a little, honest!); maybe if I'm lucky I'll have a little _fun _with someone else who felt like harassing him; or _maybe, _just _maybe_, I'll help him. He's a pretty good student, but he used to be better, I think. I think I'm supposed to feel guilty about that, but oh well. He knows a lot more about most things than I do - at least, the kind of things people apparently consider important these days - but _knowledge _and _cleverness _are two different things, after all.

It's at about the time that he goes home that the interesting thing about us and _eating _comes into play. The body we share has already had two meals at this point, obviously, and so has he, but what about me? This soul isn't connected to this body quite right, after all, so while I can tell that 'my' body's eaten, I still feel like 'I' haven't. Yeah, I don't really understand it either. It's a helluva lot simpler to just say I'm _hungry_, damn it. So usually I make him turn on the TV for me and then wait while he makes me some food, yelling in an absentminded way, which nevertheless terrifies him for some reason, if he's taking too long.

Except that this afternoon, he's not cooking. He's gla-_trying _to glare, like I said, except that he looks just a little shocked by what he just said, and he's holding this almost-dripping wooden spoon slightly in front of him like he's planning on using it as a weapon or something. And I'm not yelling, absentmindedly or otherwise, because I'm just a little shocked too.

"_What do you want, anyway? You want the Millennium Items, right?"_

I grin in a way that feels somehow a bit odd to me. "Hey, I've got a better idea - why don't you mind your own business, and go make me some _fucking_ food, hmm?"

He pales - I didn't think that was even possible, but there you have it - but he stands his ground. "N-No. I... have the right to know." I think he _really_ amazed himself this time, because his hand is trembling. _Drip_ goes the spoon.

It occurs to me that the way he's so frightened of me is one of the things that pisses me off the most about him, and I'm not sure why. I mean, it's not like I can actually even touch him, unless I manage to trap him in his soul room or something. So, since I'm feeling decidedly irritable now and am getting worse by the second because I don't even really know why I was irritated in the first place, I opt to do one of the things I do best, and stay quiet, returning my attention to the TV.

"Answer me!"

My head shoots up so fast that I swear I almost got whiplash. So now it's yelling? What's next, homicide? He goes on, seemingly oblivious of my stupefication. "It's about Yuugi's other self, right? You two - you're enemies or something, right? So, what? You want to kill him - like all the kids from school?" My feelings of surprise compound once again when I see that there are tears in his eyes. "Why? Why do you want to... kill him...?"

The moment of silence after his voice trails off seems to last forever. I feel vaguely like the atmosphere in here has suddenly gotten much heavier - like there's this great weight pushing down on me, or in on me... I feel like I'm about to choke on it, and I have to say something, anything, just to push back all of this.

"I _died_ to kill him."

Ryou's eyes widen. After another moment or two, he murmurs, "But... why...?"

"Shut up," I snap. "It doesn't matter. I'm _hungry, _godsdamnit."

"It _does_ matter!" he protests. "I..." He looks down then, and for some reason I think that maybe he was going to say something else when he continues: "I live with you, so I want to know more about you. You must be in a lot of pain..."

The next sound out of his mouth is a frightened little 'eep' because, spirit body or not, all of a sudden I'm right up in his face and snarling. "You want to know about my pain?" I grin in a way that shows pretty much _all_ of my teeth. "Maybe I'll _share _some with you! Thanks a lot, but I don't think I'm hungry anymore." And with that, I leave him shaking, teary-eyed, and gaping in favor of my soul room.

My half of our soul is... very dark, even to my night-creature's sensitive eyes. Very symbolic, I'm sure. It's not a place for the weak-stomached, though, I can tell that much. A giant, decaying serpent's tail, coiling into the inky regions that I never have properly explored and filling its immediate area with a terrible stench, is a major feature. I can also make out a great stone tablet, blank save for a macabre skull pattern around the edge that has this bothersome habit of moving if I'm not looking directly at it. Normally I stay close to the area around the door, because it has a bed - solid gold and terribly over-done, with sheets the color of night and studded with jewel-stars - and apparently all the things that represent my recent life. There's a deck of cards just like the one I have in real life... and, somehow, a TV... and a little picture of my host... Yeah, yeah, yeah; so-what, shut-up...

Right now I'm lying on that bed, with the stupid jewels on the blanket poking my back as usual, so deep in thought that I almost feel like I'm smothering. _You must be in a lot of pain... _Ug, stupid _woman._ Yeah, I know what you're thinking - if he's so stupid, then why did I let him get to me so bad? The truth is that... I don't know...

"_I _died_ to kill him." _It's true, after all. I can't quite remember it all clearly, probably because I don't want to, but I know that I made a pact with the souls of Kuru Eruna in the end - the souls trapped inside these Items...

The room seems to grow darker. I feel suddenly and inexplicably tired just thinking about it. I can't help but wonder - Ryou has a father; did I ever have one? Or have I never been anything but revenge...? What kind of... thoughts are these...?

"Um... Um... I'm sorry!"

I nearly fall off the bed at _that_. There he stands, looking dumber than ever with his stupid long hair - however fuzzy _some _details of my past might be, I'm sure I never had my hair _that_ long - nearly brushing the floor because he's bowing so deeply. "I didn't mean to intrude!" he adds, squeaking somewhat.

"Then why did you?" I deadpan, masking my astonishment quite nicely. This is the first time he's ever dared to come in here. He's never been brave enough to in the best of times, I guess - since he knows that I could actually hurt him in this odd little middle ground we have - and to finally get up the courage when I'm already mad at him... Such a strange boy, really...

"Well..." he says hesitantly, brushing that ridiculous hair out of his face. He looks down... and then up again, with an out-of-place little spark in his eyes. "I'm sorry that I'm prying, and making you angry, but... I really think I have a right to know why you make me do the things you make me do! Why do you want to hurt my friends?"

I shrug, and flop onto my back again, feigning indifference. "I could care less about _them_. They just always wind up getting in my way."

"Yuugi's other self is my friend too."

There's another one of those ever-lasting moments, and something inside me freezes, or snaps, or something. A detached part of me muses that I probably don't _want _to know what I look like just now, judging from the sudden horror on Ryou's face. "Do you really want to know what my problem is? _Really_? That bastard's old man killed an entire village - _my _village - full of people, just for these damn Items, and then he _died _before I could do anything about it! Should I not have a problem with this? And don't you _dare _tell me he must have had his reasons!"

And after that, all the idiot can do is stand there and shake like a leaf, but that's okay since it gives my blood time to drop back down to a simmer. Eventually he takes a deep breath, lets it out in a sigh, and manages to say softly, "But, so... it wasn't even Yuugi's other self? It was that person's father?" He shakes his head, apparently incapable of making what I see as a simple leap of logic. Idiot. "But... Murdering the son of the murderer isn't going to fix anything. I know I could never understand how horrible that must have been, but... Wouldn't you be happier if you just let it go?"

Idiot. What a... what an idiot...

I just roll my eyes at him. "I sold my soul for this, and you think you're going to talk me out of it?"

H drops his own eyes to the floor again, defeated. His brief moment of self-confidence shall be forever recorded in the annals of history. "Oh. I..." He shakes his head again, despairingly. "I just wanted you to be happy, I guess."

Maybe it was the way I blinked stupidly at him. Maybe he could tell how I was all of a sudden pinned to the bed by the shear gravity of the pitiful fact that _no one had ever said that to me before_. Maybe I'll never know the reason why, but all of the sudden he leans forward and... presses his lips to mine, and... runs, and...

I lay in bed, unblinking, for such a long time that I begin to wonder whether I'll ever move again.

* * *

Kuru Eruna, Kuru Eruna, Kuru Eruna...

It shines like an oasis in the middle of my dry, sun-touched, dead old mind. It is the word that I invoke to lend reason to my madness; it is the voice that calls me back when I begin to forget what I'm doing here.

But perhaps it is no oasis after all, but merely a mirage...

* * *

_**Owari**_

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**AN: **Short and sweet. Lotsa italics... Can you believe that "stupification" is not a word? The serpent's tail represents Diabound, in case anyone didn't catch that :) I took rather a lot of artistic license with that description of his soul room, didn't I? Also, I apologize _profusely_ for any inaccuracies regarding Bakura's past - or, more confusing yet, his perception of his past -; though it deeply shames me, I confess to deriving the majority of my knowledge past Duelist Kingdom from the WB's horrid dub... Other than that, I hope the ending was okay, and I hope I spelled the original Japanese version of "Kul Elna" right, sweatdrop. Have a heart and review, please :)


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